Focusing on Your Purpose

Copyright ? 2005 Daniel N Brown

So many people are tormented by fear and don't realize how negative thinking affects them. They build a prison for themselves with suggestions of limitation, incapacity, and unworthiness. They don't think of succeeding, but of how they will fail.

It's been said that a person does not get want they want, but what they picture. It's those dominate thoughts that are being attracted to you, not your greatest dreams. So, the way to attract the things you desire is to hold a mental picture of what you want as long as possible, and as often as possible. Feel that you already have what you desire with certainty and you will see it become manifested in your life.

It's a simple concept, and it's true. It's just not easy. It's not easy because we are bombarded daily with all kinds of negative thoughts, and then we are forced to decide what to do with them after they've entered our minds.

There is just no way a person can enjoy life to its full with a head full of negative thoughts. The will of God is abundance, prosperity, blessings, peace, joy, and righteousness. Thoughts of fear, worry, dread, and poverty are in direct opposite to God's plan. In fact, they are the devil's plan.

2 Corinthians 4:4 says, Satan has become the god of this world, and it's his will to completely destroy us. But, God has put limits on the devil. He cannot cross the blood line. Therefore, the main way he disrupts people's lives is by planting suggestive thoughts in their heads, causing them all kinds of grief.

A person cannot change what they do not acknowledge. So, if you can acknowledge that if you live life passively, the devil will destroy you.

He is not just going to sit by and watch as you become outrageously blessed. The reason is because he hates God. And, since he can not hinder God in any way, the best he can do is hinder God's most beloved possession - you!

As Christians, we are just passing through and we must be like Jesus, completely focused on our mission. And, that mission is pursuing the purpose God put in each of us. Too many Christians are confused because they do not have a clue as to why they are here.

You must absolutely know where you are headed in life and have a fixed goal in view before you'll ever attain what you're after.

You must be definite on what it is that you desire and not consistently changing your mind according to your moods on any given day. James 1:6-8 says, "Let him ask in faith with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. Let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, for he is a double-minded man, and unstable in all his ways."

Many people go through the lip-service act of saying their prayers without the slightest belief that those prayers will be answered. Consequently, they are not answered, and the same people will scratch their head and wonder why God is not answering their prayers.

Jesus said, "According to your faith, let it be done unto you" (Matt 9:29). How can anything positive "be done unto you" if you are not exercising your faith in what you desire?

If you're frustrated and tired of going around the same mountain of problems day after day, then ask yourself some serious questions:

1) "Do I know God's will for my life, or do I not have a clue what He's created me for?"

2) "Do I have direction, or am I just wandering around aimlessly?"

3) "Do I know exactly what I want and how I'm going to get there, or do I just wait and see what's going to happen?"

4) "Do I have goals, and if so, are they written down?"

5) "Am I confessing what God's Word says about me daily, or do I even know any of God's Word?"

You are created with a purpose! You may say, "I know, but I don't know what my purpose is." If that's what you are saying, the devil has successfully faked you out.

God has a purpose for each person and I believe your purpose is in your interests! You will never be ultimately successful doing something you do not enjoy.

Is your work "just a job," or do you truly enjoy it? Ecclesiastes 2:24 says, "Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor."

So, ask yourself what it is that you like to do? Once you discover it, then do it with all your might. Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might."

It is vital that you know God's will for your life. Things that are not God's will for you get frustrating. They don't manifest positive results because they are not part of God's plan. In those cases you must be honest with yourself and stop pursuing those things.

But, if you know with all your heart that God has spoken something to you, then you must pursue it with everything you've got.

Now, you will only be able to pursue it with everything you've got by first controlling and directing your thoughts.

It's a decision you make concerning what you think about. So whether you think success, or failure, that's what you will eventually reap. Without directed thought aimed at your purpose, and goals in writing, you are like the proverbial "ship without a rudder," wandering everywhere while going nowhere (remember James 1:6-8).

Because our thoughts are vibrating energy, we create what we want by focusing our thoughts on those things. So, a big mistake is trying to figure out how you are going to do something before you do it. Start by believing you can do it and the "how-to" will follow, for strong belief triggers the mind to figuring the ways and the means.

Now, faith without works is dead (James 2:20). You're simply not committed until you take action. Think positive thoughts, come up with ideas, seek advice from Godly people who are on the same page, spend time with God and seek His council.

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you change your beliefs by eliminating thoughts of limitation, incapacity, and unworthiness. Remember, you do not get want you want, but what you picture.

Daniel N. Brown is an entrepreneur and teacher of biblical success principles . Get your FREE report entitled, "How to Receive from God" when you sign up for your FREE weekly newsletter. http://www.SecretPlaceOnline.com

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How Thoughts Create Matter

Copyright ? 2005 Rasheed Ali

Did you ever have the feeling right before something good happened, that you knew it was going to happen?

Most people don't understand it, and think it's ESP or something like of that nature.

In the book Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, he says - "...thought, backed by strong DESIRE, has the tendency to transmute itself into its physical equivalent."

Very Powerful stuff!

As I like to say, "Matter is Merely Materialized Thought...So What Are You Thinking?"

Many people have asked me what that means, so here's an explanation...

Back in 1937 when Napoleon Hill published his book Think And Grow Rich, he knew something very powerful but, I'm not certain the science behind it was so well understood. Of course, the principle was very well understood and probably by Mr. Hill more than anyone!

Here's the short no too scientific explanation:

Everything we see on any given day is made up of not just cells or atoms but, of PURE ENERGY.

This energy is called Quanta (plural for Quantum). Keep in mind Quanta is the unit measure of pure energy. These Quanta are part of what Quantum Physics is based on.

This energy exists only when observed. (There are a lot of arguments about observation and they all have their validity but lets keep it simple.)

Scientists say that Quanta are not a reality but instead they are a probability that exist in any given point in time. So when a person focuses on (observes) a thing, it exists!

This is because this Quanta, is now formed into the thing whatever it may be.

Many scientist, Einstein included have proved that Quanta are not bound to space and time and can exist anywhere.

These scientists also understand that your mind, body and soul are also made up of these Quanta and Quanta are influenced by other Quanta.

In other words your mind and the minds of others, create and co-create everything through influencing Quanta!

Now here's the practical explanation:

Knowing now what your mind is capable of, if you were to focus your own energy into creating what you desire in your mind with crystal clarity, it will come to you at amazing speed!

Now, this creation process is not just thought. It is both thought and work! These two together seal the deal.

This is why many of the experts out there tell you that you just can't be scattered. You have to focus on your ultimate goal.

Guess what? They are all right! All of these things together solidify what you're thinking.

THIS my friend is the "Secret" behind all of the Goal setting, the Meditation, the Master-Minding, Learning, Persistence, Action, Desire and Faith that we all are told that we must have or do.

Without these, our thoughts are controlled by outside influence and we lose our clarity and focus.

Have you ever heard, a successful person talk about how fast success seemed to come to them and how well they did in no time flat? I've heard many of these. The reason is that they knew exactly what they wanted and worked toward it. Simple as that.

One such example is a man by the name of Matt Bacak - PowerfulPromoter.com who is actually one of the inspirations for this article. I was on a tele-seminar with Matt once and he talked about how everything came to him so fast, once he knew what he wanted and started working toward it. Matt didn't know it but, his thoughts triggered my thoughts and the creation of this article! ;-P

Make no mistake, that although there are scientific explanations for the creation of matter through observation; WHO do you think created the matter in the mirror???

After all do you think that science didn't have a master observer???

Finally with that said...

Be cautious of your thoughts, they have the power to create!!!

* Rasheed Ali was once homeless and penniless on the streets of New York and is now helping to change the lives of THOUSANDS of people around the world with his innovative coaching, mentoring and newsletters. He is the worlds first Solution Coach and 80/20 Mentor. You can learn more about him and his newsletters at http://www.SleepYourWayToRiches.com

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Graduate School Survival

Graduate school is an experience like no other, and is really not for everybody. It is mainly for the intellectually curious. The courses that you will take are more intense than you can even imagine. There is a significant amount of study time required for you to be able to pass this course since you must achieve a ?C? or better in order to pass. There are no ?D?s? in graduate school. The grading scale is ?A, B, C, or F.?

Do Not Memorize!
As for the tests, you can forget about multiple choice tests. They are extremly limited in graduate school. If you do find a professor that utilizes multiple choice tests in a graduate course, he is either very lenient, lazy, or is not qualified to teach at the graduate level. Multiple choice tests only allow the student to regurgitate what you have read.

Learning is not about memorizing facts, figures, and definitions. It is about understanding the concepts. You do that by explaining in your own words a particular concept or how a model works. Notice the keyword is explain. With that said, there a lot of essay exams since these types of exams let the student freely write down their thoughts. It gives the professors an avenue to see if they are understanding the concepts. Many professors will turn essay exams into take home exams. These professors will usually give you two weeks to complete it, and it ends up being another research written in APA style format.

If you are high school graduate entering college for the first time, and have aspirations of getting your Master?s degree, then use these same techniques that I have just described in your undergraduate studies.

Set up and maintain a blog
Many graduate school professors will require you to keep a journal. Each of them have different names, such as Leadership Development Project: Personal Portfolio. The personal portfolio is a compilation of individual thought (reflection) papers that you would write outside of class during the semester. The idea is for you to reflect on your experience and the subject matter involved and the meaning you give it. The purpose is to provide the professor with a window into your learning throughout the course that is more systemic and deeper.

Here is another twist to setting up a blog. Let?s say that you are taking a course in Organizational Behavior. You have the syllabus. The syllabus is divided into topics that are covered each week. Examples of such topics each week include motivation, group dynamics and teamwork, and decision making in organizations.

Take each of those topics that are in your syllabus and use them as your categories for your blog. For example, if motivation is a topic one week, then make that a category in your blog. If you have 14 topics that are being covered in the course that you are taking, then you will have 14 categories.

In the beginning of each chapter of your textbook there are objectives of what the reader is expected to learn. After attending the lecture for the week and doing your reading assignments, take the time to write in your own words the answers to those objectives. If one objective is to explain Maslow?s Hierarchy of Needs Theory, then explain it in your own words while drawing on your experiences. Many professors will formulate their exam questions from these objectives, so this will be an excellent test prep. By explaining what you have just heard in your lecture or read about in your readings, will help you in learning the concepts of the material. Memorization is not learning.

For a sample blog, visit The personal summaries of a lone MBA Student. This is a very good blog with useful resources.

About the Author:
Nick Roy is the Owner and Editor of The HR Blog. He currently holds a Master of Business Administration and Master of Arts in Human Resources Management from Hawaii Pacific University, and a Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management from Florida Metropolitan University, Fort Lauderdale. He can be reached at nick@nickroy.com.

About the Author Nick Roy is the Owner Nick Roy Associates a Human Resouces Consulting company specializing in recruitment for small business retailers. He currently holds a Master of Business Administration and Master of Arts in Human Resources Management from Hawaii Pacific University and a Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management from Florida Metropolitan University Fort Lauderdale. He can be reached at nick@nickroy.com. 

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How a 7-Year-Old Gets What He Wants... and How You Can Too!

How a 7-Year-Old Gets What He Wants... and How You Can Too!

Kids are the absolute masters at getting what they want and my 7-year-old son is no exception. Although he's never read a word of Wallace D. Wattles' writings (he is however very familiar with the basics of Wallace D. Wattles' philosophy), over the last seven years he's reduced how to get what he wants to a science.

Here's his "scientific" formula for getting what he wants:

1. He clearly recognizes the "source" of his supply.

In his case... Daddy! :-)

2. He's very clear and very definite about what he wants "next".

It might be a toy or a video game; or to do something or go somewhere. Whatever it is, he's very clear and definite about it and, so as not to confuse his "source", he usually focuses on one thing at a time, the one thing he wants "next".

3. He clearly communicates his desire to his "source".

He makes absolutely sure his "source" clearly understands what it is he wants, leaving no room for error whatsoever.

He does this by providing his "source" with a picture of what he wants, either from a brochure or one he prints off the Internet, or he takes his "source" to the store and shows him exactly what he wants (and, in the process, shows him exactly where to get it).

4. He goes about his business to the absolute best of his ability with full *faith* that his "source" will provide when the time is right.

After he's clearly communicated what he wants to his "source", in his mind it's a "done deal"...

Keeping what he's asked for in mind and thinking about how much he'll enjoy it when he receives it, he goes about his business (that of being a "good kid", which he does perfectly) *knowing* his "source" will "come through" with what he wants when it's the right time for him to have it.

5. He's very *grateful* to his "source" for all he has and all that's coming his way.

His "source", who very much enjoys being the recipient of his gratitude, is as anxious to give him what he wants as he is to get it. As a matter of fact, his "source" so enjoys his gratitude that he goes out of his way to "surprise" him with all sorts of good things he doesn't even ask for.

There's really not much more to it than that. I can tell you from personal experience, his "formula" works and it works all the time.

Let's look his "formula" from a different perspective...

1. Does he set long-range, mid-range and short-range goals?

Nope. He just focuses on what he wants next. My gosh, he doesn't even put it in writing!

2. Does he set goals in all areas of his life?

Nope. He just focuses on his most pressing need or want at the moment.

3. Does he set deadlines?

Nope. He learned a long time ago (the hard way, but he did learn it), it's not a good idea to impose his will upon his "source".

4. Does he have action plans?

Nope.

5. Does he plan his time?

Nope.

6. Does he go out and try hard to "make it happen"?

Nope.

7. Does he read books, listen to audio programs and attend seminars on how to get what he wants?

Nope.

8. Does he work on becoming the kind of person who is capable of getting, or worthy of, what he wants?

Nope. He knows he's good enough the way he is. He knows his "source" is a good and loving "source" who wants him to have the things he wants as much as he wants to have them.

Now...

Does he get *everything* he wants?

Absolutely not!

His "source", being wise and all-knowing :-), knows there are certain things he doesn't really want or if he gets them he won't like them or be happy with them. In that case, his "source" comes through with something even better.

Hmmm...

Does any of this sound familiar?

It should. :-)

His "scientific" formula is the very essence of what Wallace D. Wattles teaches about getting what you want...

Simply substitute "Formless Substance", "Thinking Stuff" or whatever you prefer to call the "Universal Power" for "source", follow his simple formula and you'll be well on your way to getting what *you* want.

Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles and the publisher of "The Science of Abundant Life" ebook by Wallace D. Wattles... http://www.thescienceofabundantlife.com
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles, best known for his classic masterpiece, "The Science of Getting Rich". Tony publishes "Constructive Science", a blog dedicated to the scientific writings of Wallace D. Wattles. He is also the publisher of a number of highly successful ebooks by Wallace D. Wattles. 

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How To Create Gold From Water

Copyright ? 2005 Wayne McDonald

Your mind is very powerful and yet many of us do not fully utilize the magic we can do. Everyday we are creating new experiences with our mind. Unfortunately a lot of us focus on our negative experiences and we are constantly in a stuck place.

Have you ever wished you had a magic wand that you could wave and make your problems disappear? Well you can by bringing your thoughts from the unconscious mind to the conscious mind.

This is the Creative Process of bringing subjective thoughts (ideas) to objective mind (results).

Life sometimes has challenges such as not enough paycheck at the end of the month, or meeting that special someone (or maybe just a date!), or finding a career that is fun, or dealing with co-workers or neighbors.

Believe it or not, you DO have the answers. The answer is to focus on the RESULTS and not the problem. If you focus on what you DO NOT want in a relationship, then that is all you will create. If you focus on bills and the lack of money, then your thinking will continue the cycle of debt. If you think about how people annoy you with constant complaining, then change yourself and stop complaining about your life.

There is nothing new here. But as humans, we tend to forget and need to be slapped in the head and reminded from time to time. To change the world around us, we must be willing to change our self first.

So what does that right relationship look like? What are the qualities you want in that person?

You can apply this Creative Process to any challenge you have. It only takes ten to twenty minutes a day to visualize and create a new reality. Now, sit quietly and clear your mind. Close your eyes and picture yourself with that special person. What are you wearing as you visualize this person? Where are you and what is the weather like - is it hot or cold? Is it a sunny or a cloudy day? As you create your picture utilize all your senses - smell, touch, taste and auditory. Continue breathing and relaxing, smile to yourself and really get your emotions charged to really feel and sense this picture.

Next, create a positive affirmation for yourself. For example, "I am in a happy loving relationship that fills more than my needs". Say this affirmation to your self ten times a day. Also, start a journal and write all the positive things about the relationship. Write this in present tense. For example, "Today we went dancing and afterwards we walked on the beach". Write five or ten sentences each night in your journal before you go to bed.

For the next 21-days read and speak aloud your affirmation. Do this for 21-days, saying your affirmation at least ten times a day. Write in your journal all the happy, loving, romantic and wonderful things that happened. Create in your mind that relationship that you want.

If you are starting to moan and complain about having to do some work, then ignore it. Our minds want to keep us safe. That is why we have all this chatter in our head. Our minds do not want us to get hurt again or have us be disappointed when nothing happens. Or even worse, what happen if we get into a relationship? If your mind is thinking "what if" this happens, then you are not living in the present or the now. What happens in the future is unknown and what the mind creates 98% of the time will never happen. And if the mind is thinking about the past, then that has already happened and it is old news and has no relevance on today. Live in the now and in the present moment.

Your goal is to create Water into Gold or to create thought into form. The Creative Process is based on scientific facts and the Laws of Nature. I would suggest you do this process yourself and NOT to share it with anyone else. Your mind wants to keep you safe and your friends will also try to keep you safe - why else would they be in you life. The Creative Process is about bringing thoughts from the unconscious mind to the conscious mind and to transform thought into form.

Yes, you can have a great, loving relationship. Yes, you can have abundance and prosperity in your life. Yes, you can have happy positive relationships with co-workers and neighbors. When you apply the Creative Process you must remember that you can only change yourself - not other people. People may stay the same, but we can choose how we relate to them and we can choose not to be bothered by their outer appearances of how they view the world.

Wayne McDonald is a licensed Life Practitioner and a Public Speaker. You can expand your Relationships, Finances, Business, Health, Life Purpose and Happiness, Love and Joy. To learn more visit http://www.123relax.com/lifepractitioner.html

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Four steps to a new approach of enhancing self-esteem.

Four steps to a new approach of enhancing self-esteem.

You have the power to run your own thoughts and to decide to increase the level of your self-esteem. Here is a new approach on self-esteem using the kind of states and emotions you experience every day: acceptation, appreciation and esteem. You will use these feelings or states of mind to increase your level of self- esteem whenever you want.

Practicing these four steps to enhance your self esteem will change the way you see yourself and the way you feel about yourself.

1. A state of acceptation. First, access an experience of acceptation of an outside event, for example a traffic jam or the weather. It is something you may not necessary like but you can accept it. Feel the emotion and notice your posture, your sensations and how you look. What are you thinking and how are you thinking it? Notice the tension in your muscles. Are you relaxed?

You will now amplify this state and emotion inside of you until it reaches 8 or 9 on a scale from 1 to 10. Let the feeling of acceptance build and make an anchor by touching your left wrist, or whatever part of your body that seems ok for you.

2. A state of appreciation. Secondly, access an experience of appreciation for something outside of you, for example your baby, a sunset or your health. In the same way, notice your posture and your sensations in your hands head and body? Let this feeling of appreciation build as well and make an anchor by touching the same part of your body as in step 1.

3. A state of esteem. Third, access an experience of esteem of something marvel about, someone you admire, something you honour and esteem highly. Notice your posture and the sensations in your body. What do you look like when you are standing in awe? How is your breathing? Let this feeling of esteem/awe build as well and make an anchor by touching the same part of your body as in step 1.

4. Apply to Self and Your Life. Now, you're going to think about yourself and touch the part of the body you selected in step 1. And as the process of "esteeming yourself" continues, notice how your thoughts and emotions change about yourself because you can now easily feel appreciation for your skills and abilities; you can feel acceptance about those things in your life that you may not like; you can feel esteem for yourself as a human being.

Finally, every time you are tempted to feel critical of yourself, you can do this! It's up to you!

The fact is that you're important and it's like the world tries to pull you down by saying "you're not enough good?thin enough?smart enough?" The fact is that you are somebody and you have value. Your contribution to the world is important. This exercise helps you so you know it emotionally and not just intellectually.

Learn proven techniques to master your life and go for your dreams. Stop living in your dreams and feel depressed or angry but discover now the top 5 secrets that EVERY highly successful person will teach you on how to turn your dreams into reality and create the life you want. Check out at http://www.vision-to-action.com/5secrets
Emmanuel Segui is a NLP meta-master practitioner and a master hypnotist. His vision is to create a world of possibilities where people can develop their full potential and live a more successful life. He's the author and creator of "Moving From Vision To Action" 

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How Gratitude Can Be Your Partner in Life

Are you constantly struggling with life? If so, you might be focusing on all the wrong things. Practising daily gratitude will help you to turn your life around. Want what you have and what you want will come to you!

Gratitude is one of the most important things you can practise if you want to manifest unlimited wealth. One of the best ways to keep abundance and wealth flowing into your life is to give thanks for what you have today. By focusing on what you already have, you allow yourself to receive even more, so it is really vital to practise true gratitude.

We live in a world that focuses on instant gratification. If we don?t have the money for something that we want to buy right now, then all we have to do is go to the bank and they are more than happy to loan us the money. As a result, many people are inundated in debt, and they become trapped in a neverending cycle of wanting, buying, and then spiralling deeper in debt.

When we get stuck in this cycle, we are constantly wanting things that we don?t have, and in the process, we forget to appreciate what we DO have; Every day, we remind ourselves of what we are missing in our lives, and we can?t begin to grasp the concept of gratitude. Instead, we say:

"When I have everything I want...THEN I'll be grateful!"

But that is not the way the Universe works....

Are you always comparing what you have with what others have, or wishing you could have what is advertised on TV? Or perhaps the people who live next door have a better car, a nicer house and more ?things to play with? than you. Of course, it doesn?t help when pictures of the "perfect family" with the "perfect life" are right on that TV screen in front of you every day. Do you feel deprived, frustrated or angry because you don?t have what seems to be on offer to everybody else?

Whatever your situation is, focusing on what is lacking in your life is the single most effective way to ensure that you remain in a state of scarcity.

You might ask this question: But How Can I Show Gratitude When I Don?t Have What I Want Yet? And that IS a good question; so here?s a good answer: Make A Habit Of It.

Now, if you have become accustomed to only seeing scarcity all around you, then my guess is that gratitude will be the last thing on your mind. So the suggestion I am going to make may be difficult for you at first; I would even go as far as to say that you may feel a bit resentful about having to do it.
Some people don?t want to take responsibility for the fact that they are not doing well financially. It?s so much easier for us to blame other people and outside circumstances for our lack of wealth; because if it?s all other people?s fault, then we don?t have to do anything ourselves in order for ?things to change??. right??

Well Okay, that?s fine if you?re happy for things to remain exactly as they are now. But if not, why not give this a go? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose! So make a commitment to change the way you see your life. Take stock of everything you have. You might be surprised and even amazed at all of the little things that you forgot are so special to you.
Begin by writing of all the positive things you have in your life. Who loves you? Who are your friends? What about your children?.how do they light up your life? These are just a few things that we forget about that add so much value and joy to our lives.

Practising gratitude each day will remind you of the good things in your life. Now, I don?t want to sound like a Pollyanna, but this is worth a try! If nothing else, it will help you feel better about your current life circumstances. Add something new to your gratitude list each day, and you?ll be amazed at how many great things you will be able to think of once you develop this skill!

When you are grateful for everything you already have, you open yourself up to attract more great things. The Law Of Attraction always makes sure that this will happen. Thank the Universal Source for everything you currently have, and you will invite and allow even more prosperity to come to you. Make gratitude a part of your daily routine....and witness miracles in your life!

Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website http://www.manifest-your-success.com
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing who lives in Melbourne Australia. You can find more of her information on ego self image love relationships phobias and much more on her website a href"http://www.manifest-your-success.com"Manifest Your Success/a  

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Do You Give Away Your Power?

When you love someone do you give your power away?

This may seem a strange question to ask and you may wonder what 'power' has to do with 'love'.

However, if we take a look we might see that love and power are very closely linked. This may not seem very romantic, but that does not mean it is not true.

We see another person as attractive depending on the level of 'personal power' that they hold. Things like good looks, money, success (however we define it), musical and artistic abilities, and the like all, can add to attractiveness - and 'attractiveness' is a form of personal power.

When we love someone it is natural to want to give to him or her. It is part of the fun of a relationship. Yet, if we try to give too much of ourselves before the other person is ready the chances are that they will run a mile...

Has anyone not experienced that kind of 'rejection'? I don't see any hands going up...It seems to be part of the human experience for everyone no matter what their status in life.

The problems start to arise when we place another person above ourselves. If we do that it can come across as if we feel that the other person is more important that we are.

"What is wrong with?" that you might wonder. "Isn't that how love is supposed to be?", you may ask.

Well, the problem with it is that it is not sustainable. The other person is looking for an equal not for more members of their 'fan club'. In order to have a meaningful relationship they need more from us than simply adding ourselves to their list of admirers. Sooner or later they will believe our own low assessment of ourselves.

The more we look up to someone the more we reduce own status in their eyes. Indeed, perhaps the more we look up to someone the more reason we give them to look down on us.

This does not mean that we cannot admire qualities and abilities in others. It just means we need to do it with a feeling of equality and not with a feeling like we are some kind unworthy creature admiring someone far better than we are.

Love is really something much bigger than us as individuals. In a sense, love is a process. How we love has to do with how we respond in that process. It may have little to do with the other person because we will respond the same way within that process with someone else.

If our response to love is to try and raise up the other person by lowering ourselves then that will be our experiences of the 'process' of love. We will experience being reduced and diminished when we love.

If our response to love is to raise ourselves up and the other person too - then that will be our experience of love. We will experience love as enlivening and enriching. Yes, we may still have our disappointments - but, overall it will raise us up and not diminish us.
We need to look at our response to the process of love and see it is different from the 'object' of our love. In that way we can find more skillful ways to express how we feel.

And, the expression of love is a skill. It is one of the highest of skills, but it is still a skill. It is something that needs to be learned - often through trial and error. There is not sense beating ourselves up when we make a mistake because it is just part of the process of learning the skill.

Part of the process is learning to feel good about ourselves as part of our own experience of relating to others. If we try and exclude ourselves from our own ability to love, that is what makes us want to sacrifice ourselves to the image we make of the other person. We have set ourselves up to lose if we do this as it makes a false god / goddess out of them.

Then we begin to look at the other person as if they are source of love in our life. Which is a dangerous thing to do to another fragile and quirky human being. It is dangerous as it is too much power to give another person - especially when it is someone we might hardly know at all (except that they are 'so wonderful'...).

We need to recognize the source of love in our lives. It is a deeper and wiser part of ourselves, which lives within us waiting recognition. That is our true source of personal power - and our true source of love.

Author: William Martin is the founder of http://www.meetyourgreens.com a totally free dating site.

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Don't Pull Up The Seeds When You've Just Sown Them

Why is it that 95% of people who set themselves goals fail to reach them? In one word: impatience.

The most important and difficult stage of goal-building is the immediate stage after you set your goals. In the first stage, there?s a brief blip of euphoria. But this soon passes and then you hit the arid plateau of learning. It?s in this phase that most people lose their way and give up.

But this is the phase when you have to hang in there despite appearances. Otherwise, it?s like digging up the seeds a week after sowing them. So, here, for those who need a roadmap through the arid plains of goal-building, is a 6-step guide to managing your impatience and keeping your plans on track.

1. Have Plenty of Motivation Reminders. One of the cruel tricks that life plays on us is to make goal-setting easy and goal-building hard. This is no more true than in the opening phases of working towards a new goal. When we choose a new goal that seems within our reach, we are full of excitement and anticipation. It?s like the start of a marathon when everyone cheers us over the start line. But the cheers soon become a distant memory when we move into the second phase, the hard slog. It?s in this phase that we need to have a ready supply of motivation reminders to keep us going. Here?s one I often use. It?s from Ray Kroc, founder of the global restaurant chain McDonald?s. Kroc was an amazing entrepreneur. He says that it is in the early stages of working towards a new goal that you learn the most: ?When you?re green, you grow. When you?re ripe, you rot.?

2. Be A Fly, Not A Bee. The chief problem with the early stages of goal-building is that you can never be sure of the right way forward, particularly if you are breaking new ground. You try something and it doesn?t work. You try again and it doesn?t work again. And again. And again. That?s tough. But it?s essential. Because you?re learning. Karl Weick says that in this situation it is much better to be a fly than a bee. When you place a fly and a bee in an upturned jam jar, the bee will head straight for the light and repeatedly buzz against the bottom of the glass. The fly on the other hand will dive frantically around the jar exploring every corner until he finds a way out. That?s the example to follow when you want to succeed: be a fly, not a bee.

3. Accept The Struggle. Those who are eager to succeed often treat the second phase of goal-building as an unnecessary waste of time. They would prefer to skip it and jump to the next phase of success. But this is to misunderstand the whole point of the second phase. It?s there to toughen you up. You may have heard the story of ?The Man and the Butterfly? about the man who saw a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. To help it out, the man cut a bigger hole in the cocoon and pulled the butterfly through. However, instead of flying away, the butterfly was unable to fly. Its body was too swollen. What the man did not understand was that the butterfly?s struggle to emerge through the hole forces fluid from its body to its wings and thus makes them strong and ready to carry its weight. Like the butterfly, we need to struggle to succeed.

4. Be Objective. In stage two of goal-building, it?s valuable to stand back and distance ourselves from what?s going on. We need to be tripeds not bipeds. Bipeds are people who see only themselves and others. Risk-taking is a do-or-die undertaking. Progress is either a triumph or disaster. Life is black and white, winning or losing. Tripeds, on the other hand, can distance themselves from their situation by finding a third position where they can observe things with objectivity. Life isn?t either-or any more. It has depth, colour, and many angles.

5. Don?t Judge Yourself. Our win-lose culture puts great pressure on us to consider ourselves at any moment in life as either winners or losers. This means that failure is a bad thing and winning is everything. One of the most quoted expressions in our modern culture is: ?Failure is not an option?. But this is to misunderstand the real nature of success. We need to fail in order to succeed. And we need to fail big-time in order to succeed big-time. Practically every successful entrepreneur, from Thomas Edison to Walt Disney, experienced failure many times over. But they didn?t judge themselves. They interpreted failure as ?not succeeding yet? and saw it as just one more step on the road to success.

6. Manage Your Morale. Of course, it?s not always much fun to be stuck in the hard slog phase of goal-building. Nobody?s cheering any more. You have nothing to show for your efforts. And the dream still feels as far away as ever. That?s when you have to manage your morale. That means managing your stress, keeping things light, and working on the things you can?t see: your thinking patterns, your emotions, and your spirit. And, like the fluid in the butterfly, these may just be the things that will make you fly. ?I can say: ?I am terribly frightened and fear is terrible and it makes me uncomfortable, so I won?t do it.? Or I could say: ?Get used to being uncomfortable.? It is uncomfortable doing something risky. But so what? Do you want to stagnate and just be comfortable?? (Barbra Streisand)

We human beings are very similar to the plant world. We grow best when we work with Nature and time. Don?t be in too much of a hurry to achieve your goals. If you hold on with faith, certainty, and determination, you?ll get there in due course when the time is right.

? Eric Garner, ManageTrainLearn.com

For instant solutions to all your management training needs, visit http://www.managetrainlearn.com and download your FREE personal copies of our training software. And while you're there, make sure you try out our prize quiz, get your surprise bonus gift, and subscribe to our newsletter. Go and get the ManageTrainLearn experience now!

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Discovering Your Strengths

Copyright ? 2005 Kathy Paauw

"Most Americans do not know what their strengths are. When you ask them, they look at you with a blank stare, or they respond in terms of subject knowledge, which is the wrong answer." --Peter Drucker

Many people never fully utilize their natural gifts because they don't find the proper way to express them in the world, or perhaps they don't even recognize the talents they have. Realized or not, we all have natural talents that we feel passionate about. These talents may feel so natural that you don't even realize how they make you unique and special. Your combined unique talents and capabilities create an experience for others that they will not be able to find anywhere else.

I just finished reading an excellent book called "Now, Discover Your Strengths," by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. The authors define talents in a different way than I had thought of them before. Talent is defined as any recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied. Here are some examples of talent as they define it: inquisitive, charming, persistent, responsible, dyslexic. All of these qualities can be productively applied.

Dyslexic?

I had never thought of dyslexia as being a talent, until I read this book. The authors shared an example of how David Boies -- a celebrated trial attorney and one of the best litigators in the United States -- uses dyslexia to his advantage. He was recruited as counsel for the US Government's antitrust suit against Microsoft, in part because of his gift of dyslexia. Why? Because his dyslexia causes him to avoid using long and complicated words. He knows what these words mean, but doesn't use them in his arguments because he's afraid that he will mispronounce them. This need to rely on simple words makes his arguments easy to follow. He also comes across as a common-sense "man of the people," which naturally helps him win over a judge and jury. The authors of this book point out that "for David Boies, dyslexia is a talent because he has figured out a way to apply this recurring pattern productively, and by combining it with knowledge and skills, to turn it into a strength."

Do you focus on your strengths or Weaknesses?

Authors of "Now, Discover Your Strengths" did extensive research which found that only 41% of Americans believe that the key to success is to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. In Japan and China, only 24% of those surveyed said they'd focus on strengths. The rest of the population believed that the key to success is found by focusing on weaknesses and trying to improve them.

The problem is that we tend to get what we focus on. If we focus on our weaknesses, what does that mean? Here were a couple of startling findings in the studies they conducted:

Parents were asked which grade they would spend the most time discussing with their child if they came home with the following report card: A in English, A in Social Studies, C in Biology, F in Algebra. The results: 77% of the parents said they would spend the most time discussing the failed Algebra grade.

The authors did a search to determine how many studies have been done on depression. They found more than 40,000 studies on depression, vs. only about 40 studies that had been conducted on joy and fulfillment.

The authors point out that our balance is off. Our perspective is so skewed toward weakness and illness that we know very little about strength and health. They note that if these weaknesses interfere with our strengths, we need to develop strategies to manage around them. Although a focus on weakness may help us prevent failure, it won't help us to reach excellence. We reach excellence only by understanding and cultivating our strengths.

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist who founded analytic psychology, sums it up by saying that "Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved, or redirected, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built."

IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS
Here are some key characteristics that mark talent as the authors define it:

** You anticipate activities that utilize your talent. Take note when doing an activity. Are you thinking present tense -- When will this be over? ... or future tense -- When do I get to do this again?

** Talent brings with it consistent & predictable near-perfect results.

** Talent generates yearnings - spontaneous reactions from within, and a drive to repeat the behavior or feeling.

** When talent is present, rapid learning takes place. While using your talent, you learn at a much more rapid speed than others around you. You can't wait to take on the next assignment. You work or read ahead before the next assignment is even made.

** You feel a strong sense of satisfaction when using your talent. It feels good!

Our dominant talents contain the promise of developing a strength. A strength is defined as "a combination of talents, skills and knowledge that are consistently and productively applied to achieve a desired result." The authors of "Now, Discover Your Strengths" point out that "unfortunately, most of us have little sense of our talents and strengths. Instead, guided by our parents, our teachers, our managers and psychology's fascination with pathology, we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected."

Authors of this book have identified a total of 34 dominant talents. The StrengthsFinder profile (the access code to this online profile is found in their book) identifies your top 5 talents.

MANAGE YOUR WEAKNESSES
The authors define a weakness as "anything that gets in the way of excellent performance." They suggest five strategies to manage weaknesses as you strive to build your life around your strengths:

1. Hunker down and get a little better at it (whatever the weakness is).

2. Design a support system that will stop you from worrying about a weakness so you can spend more time thinking about how to refine a strength. For example, if you are not naturally organized, your support system could be as simple as a weekly appointment with yourself to clear your desk and file papers away every Friday before you leave the office.

3. Use one of your strongest themes to overwhelm your weakness.

4. Find a partner to handle the areas that are not strengths for you.

5. Acknowledge that this is not an area of strength for you and simply stop doing it.

GET CLEAR & GET FOCUSED
What would life be like if you were to capitalize on your strengths and manage your weaknesses?

My StrengthsFinder profile confirmed that I am already relying most heavily on my signature themes. Since I have done a lot of personal development work with other quality assessment tools (visit http://www.discassessments.net), there were no surprises here for me. The profile confirmed what I already knew about myself.

The StrengthsFinder Profile is designed to help you pinpoint your signature themes, but should never be the only means by which you identify them. If you think you have a particular talent, the authors suggest that you monitor it over the next two months by jotting down some notes as you observe your own behavior and feelings as they relate to a particular talent. I've created a template to help you monitor that. You can copy and paste it by visiting: http://www.orgcoach.net/newsletter/identify.html .

CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT
Here's a recipe for creating the life that you want:

** Be clear about your own unique talents.
** Develop needed skills that will enable you to use your talents.
** Add knowledge - both factual and experiential / practical.

The clearer you are about your own natural talents, the more you can streamline and strengthen your efforts. Clarifying your natural talents will help you stay focused on what skill sets and knowledge you need to develop.

Whatever you set your mind to, you will be most successful and feel most fulfilled when you craft your role to play to your most dominant talents.

About the Author:
Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit http://www.orgcoach.net.
Kathy Paauw helps busy executives professionals and entrepreneurs de-clutter their schedules spaces and minds so they can focus on whats most important. She is an organizing productivity consultant certified professional personal coach and speaker. Contact her or visit her website at http:www.orgcoach.net or contact her at kathy@orgcoach.net and learn how you can find anything you file or store in 5 secondsguaranteed! 

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Developing Personal Depth

Everyone seeks personal depth to one degree or another. Personal depth stands as *the* way to add richness and beauty to our lives.

Nobody wants to be considered a shallow person. Still, the concept of becoming a ?deep? person turns many people off. We have this image of a deep person as someone who spends a little too much time stroking his beard and smoking his pipe, lost in thought way beyond us mere mortals.

They ponder too much. They?re smarter than us. They go to the opera -and actually know what the fat lady is singing about! They?re just not normal.

Fortunately, personal depth exists as something else altogether.

Achieving greater personal depth (and not coincidently, greater success at anything you pursue) involves taking specific actions. You can achieve greater personal depth starting today by working with the seven characteristics listed below.

1. Develop and use the generating energies of trust and value.

Trust: Even though you don?t have all the answers, you know you?ll get by. You?re ?enough? and you know it. You can count on yourself. You can rely on your power, strength and talent. Whatever happens you know you can face it: you know you?ll make it. Even though it may not be perfect, you?ll handle the situation at hand ?good enough?. That?s trust.

Value: You might not be highly visible in the world, but the role you play in life *is* highly valuable. You know you are valuable in your way - to yourself and to those who love you. Also, you recognize, respond and act upon your value.

2. Develop and use the sustaining energies of life such as discipline and ownership.

The discipline that?s self-imposed: You decide on something and then you *follow through*. You follow your own plan, your own rules - that?s discipline.

Ownership: Own your thoughts and feelings. Own your emotions. Own your failures - so you can change them. Own that you?re responsible. And own your successes - so you can keep them. Ownership gives you the ?right? to change.

3. Continuously create new meaning, new destiny, new personality, and new self-image.

People with personal depth never settle for the way they are. They may be satisfied, but they always seek to become more. More meaning in their life. Higher destiny. Greater complexity of personality. And new self-image.

4. Develop and strengthen character.

Character: By knowing your ideals and your principles, and living by them?. by having ideas and opinions and standing by them?. That?s how you build character and thus increase your personal depth.

5. Continuous expansion of your power, strength, responsibility and creativity.

You look for ways to be more powerful; to act, to get involved in the world around you. You look for ways to take more responsibility from the most minute to the most magnificent. You know your strengths and look for ways to use them. You work on expanding your creativity. (Creativity is anything you do that inspires you or inspires others.) Just taking a walk can be creative!

6. Sustained actualization.

You?re in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and you?re not afraid to put them into action. You always think and feel. You?re aware of that thinking and feeling. And you act upon those thoughts and feelings.

7. Generating spirituality.

You don?t have to separate yourself from the mundane of life to experience your spirituality. Rather, you seek the spiritual *within* the material. Your spirituality eventually becomes your number one priority.

You come to realize everything you experience is a manifestation of your spirituality. There is no separation between the spiritual and the living of life - that?s the goal of the person seeking or having personal depth.

***

As you can see, personal depth is not something you check off on a to-do list. Let?s see? walk the dog, take out the trash, and oh yeah - achieve personal depth. No.

It?s an ongoing, never-ending, always-expanding endeavor. Basically it all comes down to becoming more of yourself.

There are no limits, and that?s the good news. You can always experience greater personal depth.

Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard, offers unique cutting-edge emotional healing tips, techniques and secrets that teach you how to deal with depression, stress, anxiety, and much more. ==> http://www.join-the-fun.com

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Discovering Your Life Purpose - An Overview

Copyright ? 2005 So-lu'shunz Management Services

When you look in the mirror, do you see a purposeful, productive, satisfied human being looking back at you, or do you see someone who?s caught in the grind, moving on autopilot, and not having much fun in the process?

How long has it been since you opened your eyes in the morning with a sense of anticipation, yes and even excitement? If you haven?t felt that sense of wonder and expectancy since you were a child, you?re not alone, read on!

If this sounds familiar, you?re probably also wondering why you?re here, whether there is a purpose or if you?re an accident? Is there something you should be doing with your life that you?re missing? How will you know? And how in heaven?s name should you go about it?

Life with a plan is the answer. You?re may be thinking, ?Oh, no, not that, not another plan!? Ah, but this is a grand plan, one you can truly live by, a freeing plan, not another system to be bound to. This plan works for you not on you!

Today we?re introducing the concepts of PURPOSE, MISSION, VISIONS & GOALS. These terms are often confused and mistakenly used interchangeably, when in reality they?re very different, though definitely linked. An understanding of their meanings and the part they play in moving us forward is vital to getting us back to that place of excitement and anticipation we knew as children.

PURPOSE & MISSION

These two terms are often used interchangeably, but what appears to be a subtle difference is significant to your success. The simple difference is that purpose is what you?re made for and mission is what you?re meant to do about it.

Each of us has a purpose, a reason we were created. Discovering what that is unlocks our greatest potential and catapults us forward into our destiny.

Mission, from the Latin mittere to send, is the beginning of the adventure. Once we know our purpose for existing in the first place, we can begin the process of discerning our destiny, what we?re meant to do about it.

No one is here without purpose and each of us has a mission we are meant to live out. Everyone has sensed at some time that they were meant to be or do something bigger than themselves, a reason for living beyond just getting by. No one is a mistake. Whether you know it or are even able to grasp it, you?re here right now, at this particular point in history, for a reason.

No one on earth, from one end of time to another can fill your spot exactly the way you can. You are unique. Even the marks of your fingertips are unlike any that ever were or ever will be again; you?re ?fearfully and wonderfully made? according to the Book of Psalms. If your very fingerprints bespeak such uniqueness, how much more your purpose for existing!

Once you are certain of your purpose, discovering your mission is an adventure in itself, a journey into the realm of your gifts and talents, a look at what excites you and where your passions lie. It?s uncovering and examining those markers that have been there all along pointing the way to the answer to the major questions of your life.

VISIONS

Webster defines vision as the act or power of imagination; mode of seeing or conceiving. It is engaging the mind in conceptualizing. And it?s a great activity for the porch swing, walking through the forest preserves, or floating in a boat, loosely attached to a fishing pole.

Visions are the pictures of what you will do about your discovered mission, your reason for being here. If mission is the hub of the wheel, then visions are the spokes. Visions are a lot like oil paintings, colorful, detailed, diverse and they come in all sizes and styles.

They all have in common that they begin as a dream in the mind of an artist and they only appear on canvas when they have become life size on the inside of the visionary and they simply must manifest! When the vision is so real on the inside that you find you can almost operate from within it, it?s time to make a path for it into the physical world (see the author?s article, Birthing Your Dream).

GOALS

It?s at this point that goals come into the plan. According to Webster, one of the synonyms for goal is design, which implies a carefully calculated plan. Goals are where the rubber meets the road.

You may be thinking ?oh no, not more goals. I get goals at work, goals at home, on the school board, from the Chamber of Commerce? No more goals!? But this is where the artist begins preparation to bring the dream to life on canvas; building the frame, stretching the canvas, applying the gesso, choosing and mixing the paints, drawing preliminary sketches. Each step in the process is necessary; each step pointedly bringing him closer to the realization, in living color, of what until now has been alive and vibrant only in his mind?s eye.

It?s at this point that she begins the visible work. The rest has been an inner exercise, a function of the mind and heart. Designing goals involves doing the research, getting out the slide rule, making the Gantt chart, doing the sketches, calculating the cost. But by this time the vision is so real and the visionary is so ready to burst with it, that the goals are no chore, but a welcome means by which to deliver the dream.

It?s only when we confuse the process, mixing up the terms, trying to do them out of order that life becomes a chore. Discover your purpose and your mission, begin to create your visions and design well-crafted goals to support them and bring them to pass and before long you?ll be the enthusiastic kid in the mirror again, eager to get out and make a giant splash in the world!

Karin Syren is a certified coach specializing in the EffectivenessCoaching process. She has helped leaders at all levels to increase their personal and professional effectiveness by guiding them through the process of learning to do less and be more. Gain, regain and maintain control of your life direction and sign up for the FREE introductory DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT teleclass, http://www.solushunz.com/pages/3/index.htm
Karin Syren is a certified coach concentrating on women's needs helping leaders clearly identify issues facing them coaching them through the steps to gaining regaining maintaining control of juggling the intense demands transitions facing them. She offers guidance in discovering mission creating vision and designing goals. For information to schedule a complementary session please see her website at http://www.solushunz.com/. 

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