It helps to have lots of patience when dealing with an elderly parent. Keep in mind that they may not really know what they are saying and/or doing so raising your voice and getting angry probably aren't the best things to do. Keep in mind that they may be aware that they are somehow "not the same" and it can be a scary thing for them. Keep in mind that they may also have physical ailments that make them feel bad, and they may lash out in pain.
It may be even more difficult if an elderly parent comes to live with you. You now have taken on the role of caregiver and that may be a problem, especially if you have a career, spouse and children of your own to worry about, so it is important to set boundaries.
If you can, hire a service to come and care for your parent so you can have some time off to do what you like to do to "recharge your batteries" so to speak. If this is not possible, try to enlist the services of another relative or close friend to help out here and there. Staying bottled up all day will lead only to resentment, and not effective and compassionate care giving.
Make your parent's room as comfortable as possible. Sticking them in a spare back bedroom with only a chair and a cot will lead them to spend more time with you, if only because they are uncomfortable in the room you've given them. Get a nice size television. Get a nice cushy chair and a comfortable bed. Whatever it takes. You don't want your elderly mother coming into the living room and sitting between you and your spouse as you watch a romantic movie together because her chair is uncomfortable on her back.
If they are mobile enough, get them involved in some local activities where they can meet friends their own age, even if it's for an hour or two of Bingo. It gives them something to do and gives you a break.If they're shy, go with them a few times. Many people of all ages can be uncomfortable in new situations, and the older a person gets the more these fears can be magnified.
If they are not, invite some of your friends over for a cup of coffee. At least it's someone new for them to talk to.
Be active in their medical care. Know what's going on with their medications and be sure they're taking them properly.Encourage them, if they can, to help you with little things around the house like washing their dish or doing a very light load of laundry. It will make them feel useful and keep them moving around. Too often an elderly parent just languishes in their bed. And we all know that the less we do the less we want to do, so it's important to stay as active as possible.
Finally, recognize when it's time for your elderly parent to enter either an assisted living or a nursing home. It's a tough call but ultimately you need to do what is best for your parent and you. Enlist the help of their primary care physician to speak with them. Often this is easier for them to accept coming from a third party with in-depth knowledge of their physical and mental condition.
It's tough, but going into it with an open heart and mind and wishing only the best for your parent will make it easier and more rewarding to take care of them.
Deborah Ailman is a Master Law of Attraction and Positive Thought Instructor living in the Tampa Bay area of Florida with her husband of 26 years. She is mom to seven beautiful cats, all rescued, and one very noisy bird.
Her passion in life besides living positively is the welfare of animals worldwide.
Visit her website: http://www.optimistforever.com/
Facebook page- Deborah Ailman
Email: optimistgreen@gmail.com
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