Let me ask you this "What is the Real Price of Caring What Others Think? "
How many people are in trouble right now because they took on a huge mortgage that they could barely afford? Others bought a bigger car, an extra car or maybe staged an expensive wedding? They have closets full of designer clothing, handbags and shoes that they hardly wear and whose cost is stacked up on their credit cards. Because of debt there is constant stress and arguments filling their homes, their children suffer as they watch their parent's relationship breakdown. Even the children catch this (caring what others think bug) They get upset when their parents can no longer afford the designer outfits they crave in order to keep their standing among friends and school mates. Are these the values we want our children to learn? There are many ways of hurting ourselves through trying to look good in front of our peers. Take the perfect Mom syndrome." Yes, I will help at the school fete and anything else you ask of me". "No, I can't send my child to school on a special day with a shop bought cake". Rather I will spend hours making an impressive unique concoction.
We strive to look and be our best at work, offering hours of overtime to the detriment of our family life. We spend time with people who we no longer have anything in common with, and attend social events which we have no interest in, even though very often we end up unhappy and feeling out of place.
It's time to wake up and think about ourselves, our own family, and start creating an affordable and sustainable future which is based on our own likes and dislikes, and those of our real friends. Do you think people really care so much about what you wear or do, where you live and what you drive? And even if they do, does it really affect you?
When I was a teenager and worrying about some outfit that I thought was not fashionable, and wanted to look like the 'cool' kids, my grandmother said this to me, "If we realized how often people thought about us, we would find that it was practically never!" The truth is that the majority of people think 99% of the time about themselves and their own problems, and scarcely give you a second thought. Even so, we find ourselves running our lives in the way that we think pleases and impresses them. So many of us are scrambling around trying to look and act in the ways that we believe people expect of us, instead of being our own person. It may be by spending money that we can't afford, purchasing the latest fashions, the best car, or even a house which is not a home but a show-house, to impress our friends and neighbours.
It is time to understand that when we are living our life in a way that we think will impress others or make them envious, we are hurting ourselves, and may be heading for disaster. When what other people think about us starts to control your life, it is time to change. There are times, of course, when it is prudent to consider our effect on other people, such as going for a job interview or meeting our "in-laws" for the first time. I am not advocating that we shouldn't make any attempt to dress nicely or drive a reasonable car which is safe, or live in a nice neighbourhood. If we can afford it, and it is what we want, then there is no problem. We need to just be aware of the motivating force before we spend more than we can afford or want. The problem lies in "maxing" out our credit cards, or having a barely affordable mortgage, or spending in other ways, in order to impress others. It's just not worth it for the loss of peace of mind, and maybe jeopardising our future if we unexpectedly lose our job or some unforseen expenditure comes along doesn't it make more sense to live within our means, and include a saving plan within our budget. That way, we will have a nest egg for hard times instead of being in a position of having to unload a fancy car or sell our house in possibly an unfavourable market. Finding other ways to get our sense of self-worth by being a loving parent, a good friend or helping others when we can, will give us far more happiness and a feeling of security, connection and belonging.
By being ourselves, believing in ourselves, and being true to ourselves, we will discover that life becomes more enjoyable, more tranquil and less of a rat race. We should always remember that we are each unique human beings, and we are here to fulfil our divine destiny, not to collect stuff and certainly not to live our lives to someone else's agenda.
Take a few moments right now to reflect on your own life and see if you need to make any changes. Look at your belongings, way you use your time, the true friends you have around you, and contemplate on your motivating force. By looking inward and understanding yourself you will be in a position to make more rational life choices that move you forward and give you the promise of a better future for yourself and your family.
Written by Christine Sherborne - For more articles like this visit her web site http://www.colourstory.com/
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